Naritai Jibun

amu4
Sorry, this is not so much about Shugo Chara, as I have been backlogging that series since the first few episodes of Doki disappointed me. Well okay, let’s just say I can relate with Amu-chan in some things, especially the fact that she has some sort of multiple personality issues. When I left the story in the first season, she was conflicted with that fact that she has multiple “would-be selves” represented by 4 or 5 of the Shugo Charas. In due time, I’m about the enter the same phase.
Continue reading Naritai Jibun

Philippines bans Hentai

http://www.congress.gov.ph/press/details.php?pressid=3253

In a nutshell: Congress thinks ALL cartoons with explicit sexual content are considered child pornography.

More of the “this is why we can’t have nice things” and “won’t anyone please think of the fictional children” variety.

Okay, I’m not the kind who can defend hentai. I don’t watch them, frankly. I’m not trying to prove myself innocent by saying so, but I am not the type of person who watches pornography, in all definitions of that word. Sure, I have eroge plenty here, but I skip the H parts. They are not relevant to me.

Now I have questions:
– Mere possession? Isn’t that an invasion of privacy or some other human right?
– I think press releases are too broad. I need details. If I has loli girl in swimsuit, is this safe?
ccswim

In my opinion, I think legislators are getting too ahead at anything. To my eyes, they can’t even enforce anti-piracy bills or anything related at all to the internet. Well, if that’s the case, maybe all hentai-loving Filipino folk are still safe… as long as they are not selling or distributing any kind of hentai that is. This is actually a good bill (I mean its overall intent is good), and I agree with some parts. There is no such thing as a hentai industry in our country. No eroge or ero anime are being sold here legally. If they crack down on animated erotic content, they’re hitting two birds with one stone, because those stuff are also pirated. But I need my questions answered. If a person possesses it without any intent to sell, promote or distribute, they shouldn’t be sanctioned. This one’s easy, we have clear human rights and privacy laws that protect us. Also, the line between “fanservice” and “explicit content” must be clear. This latter part would be fun to debate on. If Japan, UK, or America can’t get those definitions right, what more with the Philippines.

In the first place, “hentai” as a word does not mean “Japanese pornographic cartoon that depicts children in explicit sexual activity”. It’s a disservice to a language, having definitions wrong. And additionally, a disservice to the people of the Philippines, giving us wrong and inconsistent information.

Yume

Yume wo miteita.

Sono yume no naka ni, kaze no youna, kasuka na koe ga takai sora kara boku wo yondeiru. Kimi no koe dake kikoeta. “Sora ga aoi yo ne?” Kimi ga hohoenda. Demo, yawarakana kaze ni dakare, anata omou kokoro setsunaku naru. Mou modorenai kana? Anata no ude ni tsutsumareteita yasashii hibi. Yasashii koe. Yasashii na basho. Anata wa ima doko de nani wo shite imasu ka? Kono sora no tsuzuku basho ni imasu ka? Kawashita yakusoku kokoro ni mada aru kana?

Tsumetai hitomi no mama ningyou mitai ni hohoemu, zutto kono mama de tooku wo miteiru. Me wo tojite miete kuru, kaze no yuku michi. Miagereba hibiki dasu, hoshi-tachi no uta. Nijuuyo jikan zutto, kono mama de, ikiteimasu.

Anata no soba ni iru dake de, tada sore dake de yokatta noni…
Kaze to utau you ni, doko made mo issho ni tonde yuketa nara ii nanoni…

Doushite? Doushite suki nan darou? Konna ni namida afureteru no. Kimi no koe kanashii hodo hibiiteru no. Ima made nani ga sasae datta ka tooku hanarete wakatta no. Namida tomaranai. Tomaranai. Konnan ja, kimi no koto shirazuni ireba yokata. Dareka wo suki ni naru kimochi shiritaku nakatta yo! Kuyashii yo, tottemo. Kanashii yo, tottemo. Jibun ga warui no. Konna jibun ga mijime de yowakute kawaisou de daikirai! Soredemo, anata wa watashi no daisuki na hito. Zutto, zutto, daisuki na hito.

Matteru. Nijuuyo jikan zutto matteru. Kono basho de matteru. Kono michi de matteru. Modorenakutemo matteru. Wasurenaide ne. Wasurenai kara. Itsumademo oboeteru. Kono machi ga kawattemo. Nani mo ka mo kawatte mo. Sono yakusoku wa ima mo kono mune no mannaka ni imasu. Modoritai. Ano hi wo modoritai. Mada shinjiteiru. Anata to no yakusoku dake, tada shinjiteiru.

Yume no naka ni imasu. Korekara mo zutto, imasu.

No matter how hard it hurts me, I’ll never say goodbye. Your presence will always linger in my heart. Wanna see your smile again.

Alone

I’ve gone to the point where I care less what people think, and at the same time worried on what people think. It’s this impossible duality that boggles my life lately. I have this unbearable feeling that, because of so many factors, I may have forgotten an important human feeling. Hmm… that sounds Skip Beat-ish.

With my inherent weakness in dealing with people, I am unable to control the world around me. I would always think a lot. Worry a lot. Trouble myself a lot. Sometimes I wish I could read minds, because I can’t finalize my decisions on my own if I don’t have the big picture. Maybe I’m just a computer that needs input in order to give output. I can’t do anything on my own.

I am not an otaku. I don’t lock myself in my room. No matter how I wished to be alone, I am not. But in being so, I am hurting, because I’m sure that whatever I do, it would reflect to the ones close to me. If I have a tainted reputation, the reputation of my family, my friends, other people I know, may be tainted because of me. Am I thinking too outward? Or am I trying to just lose the burden on me, thinking only of myself? If I have a tainted reputation, I could care less, but still want to be happy. Me me me. Am I thinking too inward?

This blog was, to a certain extent, a vital outlet of my emotions. I was, and still am, thankful for the few views and comments. At some point, for some reason, I wanted to know more. I wanted to put faces in, meet a few bloggers in real life, look at what makes them tick. I lurk heavily on their blogs, their twitters, their sites, in the hopes of getting myself closer to them, because in the end, I am mostly alone. Even with my real friends, I feel alone. Even with myself, I feel alone. And despite my hope for closeness, I sometimes turn away with a (Shinji) hedgehog dilemma. I just hurt myself in the process.

Now I’m losing everything. Look how empty this space is. If this post won’t have comments, how would I feel? Further into darkness? The problem is not just this blog not being updated often. This blog is an extension of what is really happening in my life. I’m not “updating myself”. I’m not moving from this spot. I’m not changing. This seems comfortable. But in the end, I worry about myself. This is not about love anymore, this is about life. How, despite my desire for change, can’t just start anything that easily.

I won’t try to put on a fake mask anymore. Beyond sweet words, lol expressions, emo thoughts, whatever the season is. In the end only true feelings matter.

I am lonely.

Would you share in my loneliness?

“I fear the turning of the pages, the difference of the new. In the end, I refuse change, no matter how much I desire it”
– myself

Remake Honey


My blogging seems to need a certain amount of reorganization.

My experiment in [microblogging->] has been going on for quite some time, and it seems safe so say that the system is here to stay, so here’s my Twitter account again:

http://twitter.com/bluemistanime

As for my main blog, it may be time for something major. I’m not so sure whether I’m going to lead it to something better or worse, but I hope you would still stick around like before. Nope, I’m not announcing a hiatus or quitting or anything, but please do watch out one of these days (or weeks, hopefully not months though). I hope my plan for remaking this blog goes well.

Well that was just a quick update to refresh things a bit. Until next time.

Loli Technology

We now interrupt this anime program for some interesting developments in the tech world.

image
It seems that the trend nowadays is to make things “smaller”. Since I have a penchant for ‘small things’ (no pun intended [no rly]), I have been following various tech news and stuff rather closely these past weeks. Actually I’m in the market for new gadgets to fill gaps in my rather already-bloated collection. Before I start delving and salivating on cool and spicy tech gizmos, let me describe what I have right now:
Continue reading Loli Technology

Introversion

image
I used to write a personal blog. Actually, my ronery post is derived from that blog, and I just edited it accordingly. Lately I’ve been reading my own posts on that personal blog of mine, realizing how much I’ve changed… or should I say, how much I’ve not changed. These few months I’ve been discovering the quirks of my own personality, and I’ve come up on this term called introversion. It honestly fits me to a T, and as a result, it somehow filled me with even more roneriness than merely not having a romantic partner.
Continue reading Introversion

Animeme: Nursery Rhyme OP

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRWyoLHF6JM&hl=en&w=425&h=355]

THIS IS LEGEND.

Originally it was just some cute OP for a supposedly cute game, but for some reason it became one of the most parodied opening sequences ever! The good thing about it is the quality of some of those parodies. This is quite a hard piece to spoof, and yet many a MAD-maker proved to me yet again how much time and dedication they have in their hands. There’s just so many of them out there, it’s so hard to cherry-pick the good ones, so the ones featured here are some of my favorites. Searching for “kishimen” (or much better “きしめん”) along with the name of the anime of choice, and chances are there will be one.

Ronery

Being alone in life does have some benefits. No one would annoy you and avoid you from getting your work done and done well. No one would be needing your attention at many time periods of the day. No one will nag at you. No one will seemingly be a liability for you. No one will spend your own hard-earned money. No one will call you every night, removing your chance of a good night’s sleep. No one will be your rival in case there would be a third party in your relationship.
Continue reading Ronery

WordPress Appliance - Powered by TurnKey Linux